Back in 1998, while trekking through Egypt as an entertainer for Princess Cruises, I thought it might be a fun idea to shoot a picture by the pyramids for my Christmas card. Little did I know that I was planting the seeds for a ritual that would come to rule my life: the yearly quest to pull a clever holiday card out of my ass. It's totally out of control and I'm considering converting to Judaism. Until I do, here they are.