Friends, Film, Flashdance
Dishing Hollywood with author Dennis Hensley
By RICHARD ANDREOLI FADE IN:
INT. SUBURBAN HOME IN "THE VALLEY" -- LOS ANGELES, CALIFONRIA
-- NIGHT
Pretty Woman plays on the TV while six friends crack wise
about the plot, the clothes, the hair. On screen, Disney
prostitute Julia Roberts brokers a deal with Richard Gere.
Meanwhile, in reality, man-hating psychiatrist DR. BEAVERMAN
leans over to TONY, International Chip ‘N Dales stripper
cum kid’s fitness instructor for Gym Dandy child fitness
centers.
DR.
BEAVERMAN
Notice
Julia’s entrepreneurial spirit. She’s a self-contained
muff mogul and she doesn’t deal with a middleman. Unless
she’s making a john sandwich with Laura San Giacomo. TONY
Which
is $10 extra. It’s like supersizing it.
Thus
with his usual finesse author Dennis Hensley, of
the hugely successful Misadventures In The 213,
returns to our literary lexicon dishing out his usual blend
of
sharp wit and uncanny observations in Screening Party (Alyson
Books). Based on actual parties Dennis hosted and wrote
about for British Premiere magazine, the novel avoids trashy
Hollywood gossip. Well, okay, the trash is there, but this
novel’s also about the films that everyone grew up with
and helping us understand why they hold such an important
place in society. Between insightful analysis and Whitney
Houston on crack jokes, Screening Party warmly
delves into the lives of Dennis’ posse, bringing a humanity
to a book
which would otherwise become tiresome.
Besides
Tony and Dr. Beaverman, these experts include Marcus
Goldin, the HIV positive lawyer
who used Pretty Woman to
help him pass his Bar exam, Lauren O’Donovan the stand-up
comic who confesses to being a "Teenage Flashdancer",
and Ross Fowler, the token straight guy
whose Film Factoids
help ground the films.
Dennis
discussed his novel outside of Crunch Gym in Hollywood,
because meeting on a Stairmaster would’ve
been difficult. This book is what Film School should’ve been.
That’s because they always pick the classics in film school.
They’re don’t look at films like The Bodyguard, and I
think they should. I love when Beaverman says that Flashdance was supposed to be the female Rocky, but Rocky doesn’t
have connections and Jennifer Beals did. So the message
that movie is sending out, is for a girl to be Rocky,
you need a man. You see, there are lessons to be gleaned,
especially when something’s a phenomenon like Flashdance.
Dr. Beaverman’s quite insightful.
I remember the first Dr. Beaverman riff was about how when
you have your period it should be a happy time, and then
she sang, "Happy Time" to the tune of "Happy Talk" from
South Pacific. A lot of times her analysis is wacky and
funny and interesting, but then sometimes you go, you
know what, she has a point. Like in the Sound of
Music chapter she points out water symbolism. Maria is always
paired with flowing water, she makes fountains come to
life she’s so damn fertile. And the Baroness is dry as
a bone. Any time there’s water around the Baroness it’s
still.
I’ve heard that the incredibly talented Kathy Griffin
has a hand in Dr. Beaverman.
Without sounding dirty, yes, she plays Dr. Beaverman on
the audio book of Screening Party (Fluid Words).
Why’d you tackled the controversial gay movie Cruising.
I’d never seen it, so I was curious. I’ve also found it’s
really fun to do movies that ruffled people’s feathers
and see what all the fuss was about. Plus, I’d heard
there were some seriously campy moments in it, like Al
Pacino dancing and saying, "Hips or lips". Then seeing
and researching the film challenged me to examine my
opinions about protests and first amendment issues and
the portrayal of gays in films and TV. I’ve realized
that I’d rather see a negative portrayal of a gay guy
that feels like the truth than a positive one that feels
phony. I think if we try to stop a work of art from being
made as we did with Cruising and Basic Instinct, it’ll
come back to bite us in the ass. Not that Cruising’s
all positive, but I cover the negatives in the book.
What other films do you want to hit?
Fatal Attraction, Forrest Gump. I’m one of the gay people
that doesn’t love The Wizard of Oz. Willy
Wonka and the Chocolate Factory because Gene Wilder gave me the creeps.
I want to do a Madonna movie but none are really right,
unless Swept Away is the new Glitter, which I’m hoping
it will be.
The Glitter chapter is funny. Was Tyra Banks really in
the theater with you?
The Glitter chapter is all real, and I haven’t sent her
the book yet, I guess because I worry that she won’t like
the way she comes off, but I think she looks like a million
bucks. It’s just we make fun of her insane karaoke commentary
shit on Coyote Ugly.
Where she observes, "…. I wasn’t eating carbs back then
and I was about 10 pounds lighter. I think I look too modelish,
so I decided to put my 10 pounds back on for my acting."
She’s talking about her carbs and her art! It’s genius,
I don’t make that shit up. It’s the truth, so it’s not
like she’s being pretentious. She thought she was skinny
and thought it was important enough for the commentary.
What’s your favorite movie musical.
I love Xanadu. I love every one of those songs. When they
did the sing-along at Outfest (LA’s gay and lesbian film
festival) and they didn’t have the words to "Suspended
in Time", I took it upon myself to just shout them out
a line ahead. [Dennis stands and yells to the shopping
complex] "But how can our love succeed? A miracle is
what we need. And so I appeal to you!" [He sits] "Suspended
In Time" was shot in one take. They don’t call her "One-take
Newton-John" for nothing. There are three people in this
town who hit it out of the park the first time, every
time: Streep, DeNiro, Newton-John. It’s her, one take,
with the fan blowing in her face, and she can lip synch
like nobody’s business. People who have to work with
her are amazed.
Speaking of amazed, I love your fantasy of having a Vanity
Fair-esc book cover, and then achieving that dream with
Screening Party.
Don’t we all sort of fantasize about having one? It’s great
because [the cover models] have that look like, "We
all couldn’t be hotter right now, and we’re just a bit
better than you. And we know it. But we’ll deny it if you
ask us. And we’re sort of smirking and yet sort of not
really." Now I have a cover just like that!
Vanity
Fair’s "Hollywood Issue" might
not be far off. You have a lot going on!
Yes, I co-wrote a movie called CleanCut is about to start
shooting in Argentina. It’s directed by David Morton who
did The Edge of Seventeen. You can also find my articles
in Movieline, The Advocate, Cosmo, Gotham in NY, and the
British Magazine Total Film. Currently I could write volumes
about my deep and abiding and real love for Kelly Clarkson
of American Idol, but no one’s asked yet.
Let’s bring this home with a deep question: why are movies
so important us?
Seeing movies, particularly in the theater, is a shared
experience and yet completely your own because it has to
do with who you are as a person and where you are mentally
and emotionally, when you see it. In the book, I talk about
how seeing St. Elmo’s Fire in college was a big bummer
because I knew my college life would never be as sexy and
glamorous and melodramatic as the Brat Pack’s. My friends
didn’t have giant Billy idol murals in their apartments
like Demi Moore or have sex in coffins like Andrew McCarthy
and Ally Sheedy. And I resented them for it. Of course,
watching it now is an entirely different experience. I
feel nostalgic about feeling sad.
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