| by
Dennis Hensley
She belted
her heart out week after week, charming the nation, and beating
out some 10,000 competitors to become the first winner on
last summer’s phenomenally popular TV talent search
American Idol. Yet unlike most reality show insta-celebs,
Kelly Clarkson, the down-to-earth Texas girl with the voice
from heaven, has more than enough talent and drive to keep
her in the spotlight for years to come. Her two-sided debut
single “A Moment Like This” / “Before Your
Love” shot from number 52 to number 1 on Billboard’s
airplay charts, making it the largest one-week leap in the
magazine’s history. Then there’s her just-released
debut CD, the American Idol arena tour and a possible
movie co-starring her fellow AI finalist, Justin Guarini.
But just because she made it all look so easy on TV doesn’t
mean the 20 year-old veteran of some fifty different jobs—cocktail
waitress, bookseller, door-to-door vacuum salesman—didn’t
suffer some hard knocks on her way to Idolization. “You
know how many doors I had slammed in my face because I didn’t
want to sing your basic country music?” asks Clarkson
who tried to make a go of it in Hollywood last January but
moved home to make some money after her L.A. apartment building
burned down. “I love country to death, but I really
love soul and I’ve had so many doors closed because
they were like, “It’s not going to work. You’re
a little white girl’.” That little white girl’s
having the last laugh now.
When have
you felt the most fearless?
Singing "Respect"
on the last show of American Idol. I felt fearless
because the judges couldn't say anything about it because
by then it didn't matter.
Has there
been one moment where you thought, 'Wow, I've made it?'
When I was
onstage singing with Reba McEntire on the Vegas special. I
just thought, "If she's going to sing with me, I must
have done something right."
Were there
any backstage emergencies we didn’t see on TV?
Once, I got
in a Jacuzzi and my hair turned green--on the day before a
show! I'm talking Ghostbusters slime green. We raced to the
hair place. A poor lady named Nancy fixed it, but before that,
I was seriously thinking, 'Well, I'll just wear a hat.'
It was
refreshing how you didn't seem preoccupied with your appearance.
In some of the behind-the-scenes footage, you didn't wear
make-up.
I did that
purposely. I think girls get way too caught up in how they
should look. I don't think you should have to be anybody but
yourself, take it or leave it.
When did
you realize your life was changing?
We were in
a bubble through the whole show. It didn’t hit me until
I went home for a little bit before the tour. I went to our
local Wal-Mart for like deodorant and there are huge banners
up that said, “Congratulations, Kelly.” Then I
went with a friend to by a video camera for the tour, and
literally my song was playing in every department store. It
was crazy.
Are you
looking forward to turning 21 and being legal?
I was a cocktail
waitress and it was funny because everybody used to make fun
of me because I'm not big on the whole drinking thing. I've
tasted a shot before but I don't like it so I don't do it.
I don't like the whole party scene so much. I love Blockbuster
nights with my friends. I'm such a movie lover. I've even
written a couple of scripts for movies.
Is there
any rumor about yourself that you'd like to clear up?
No. The Enquirer
can make up anything they want and I don't care because I
know what's true and my family and friends know what's true.
I'm not trying to please the world.
So many
people never achieve that kind of confidence and self-acceptance.
Where does that come from for you?
From my mom.
She raised three kids on her own. That, to me, should be on
a fearless list because that's hard. She always taught me,
'Don't ever try and please someone else because you're just
going to end up in a hole. Live to please yourself and be
pleased with what you do and what you put out there and as
long as God loves you, you got everything.'
When did
you first realize you had a talent for singing?
7th grade.
My choir teacher heard me sing in the hall and he was like,
"Why aren't you singing?" I was like, "Um,
because I can't?" Then I got in choir and I noticed I
kind of had something. When we were doing scales, I just kind
of kept going. What was funny is that I saw all these girls
in choir like getting so nervous before shows but I did my
first solo, "Vision of Love," in 7th grade. That's
how quick I felt comfortable.
So you've
never suffered from stage fright?
No, I never
have. I didn't want to be a professional performer because
I thought I was so great. I thought, 'Hey, I'm comfortable
here. I can do it. Why not?' I just feel at home onstage.
I love it.
What advice
would you give to people who are going after their dreams?
Be persistent
as anything and find what is unique about you and go with
it. If someone doesn't like it, don't change. Someone's eventually
going to like it.
What was
the most nerve-wracking moment of the show for you?
The show where
I sang "I Surrender" by Celine Dion. My voice was
just not there and it was frustrating as all get out for me.
I don't like to stink, no one does. The thing that got me
through was prayer because I was praying that I could at least
hit some of the notes.
What does
it meant to you to be one of Cosmo's fun, fearless females?
I thought
that was really cool. I never thought of being on American
Idol as fearless but now that you think about it, standing
up in front of three people that completely judge you on everything
you do, takes some guts. I didn't think it then because I
just was trying to get as much exposure as I could.
What's
the worst job you ever had?
Oh God. I
had to go door to door salesman for Kirby vacuum cleaners.
I did it for like a day. I was like, "This ain't gonna
work."
What's
been your favorite compliment someone's given you?
This voice
teacher came up to me and said, "Your voice is phenomenal
and you inspire me on that level but your person inspires
me more. I see God in you and I love that my daughter has
someone to look up to." I was just like, "Thank
you." What do you say to that? That is the best compliment
I could ever get.
Were you
nervous going into your first audition for American Idol?
Honestly,
none of us thought it was going to be this big. We just thought
that maybe we'd be on TV and somebody would be watching and
like our voice. We were doing it for exposure.
What's
your favorite thing about all of this?
I've had like
literally 50 jobs and just to come home, or come to the bus,
and know that I have a job I enjoy, that means the world to
me.
What's
the biggest risk you ever taken?
I don't think
anything is a risk for me because I don't think I should limit
myself on anything. I think it's sad when artists have to
limit themselves to only certain things they can do. That's
why I'm glad that I came out on the show because I did everything
from big band to Aretha, a little bit of country. I did everything
so that way people can't say, "We never saw you do that
before."
If the
musical style and song choices were entirely up to you, what
kind of album would you record?
It would probably
be like an Aerosmith rock meets R & B. I love the vibe
of that band—that’s the kind of stuff I write--but
of course, I’m going to have soul in there. I don’t
really mind singing anything as long as it’s got soul
in it.
What was
the most nerve-wracking moment of the show for you?
The show where
I sang “I Surrender” by Celine Dion. My voice
was just not there and it was frustrating as all get out for
me. I don’t like to stink, no one does. The thing that
got me through was prayer because I was praying that I could
at least hit some of the notes.
I was glad
they let you sing “Without You” again the next
night after you already sang it for the competition.
You want to
know something funny? They didn’t tell us we were doing
it the next night. They told us like five minutes before the
show. Justin and I, the duet we did, we read that off the
teleprompter because five minutes before the show they told
us we were doing it. I was just like, “Can you give
me something more that I’m not aware of?” But
we got through it okay.
What does
it meant to you to be one of Cosmo’s fun, fearless females?
I thought
that was really cool. To be in a category with Sandra Bullock
is really cool. My first job was at a movie theater so I’d
see all her movies and I still do. I never thought of being
on American Idol as fearless but now that you think
about it, standing up in front of three people that completely
judge you on everything you do, takes some guts. I didn’t
think it then because I just was trying to get as much exposure
as I could.
Are you
going to write any of the songs on your album?
Amen, yes,
if the Lord lets it. I’m trying to get this big ballad
on the album called “Baby Blue Eyes.” It’s
a mix between Mariah Carey, Aretha and Alicia Keys.
Who is
your fantasy duet partner?
You’re
going to think this weird but I love Missy Elliot. I don’t
even know if she likes me at all. She could probably hate
me, for all I know, but I just think she’s so cool.
She doesn’t care what people think, she’s fearless.
She does anything she wants and it’s always accepted.
What’s
the worst job you ever had?
Oh God. I
had to go door to door salesman for Kirby vacuum cleaners.
I did it for like a day. I was like, “This ain’t
gonna work.”
One of
your many jobs was promoting the drink Red Bull. You talk
fast normally. I can just imagine you hopped-up on Red Bull.
That’s
why I got hired because when I went into the interview, she
said, “You’re perfect. You’re a natural
freak.” (Laughs) I loved that job. You have no idea.
What’s
been your favorite compliment someone’s given you?
This voice
teacher came up to me and said, “Your voice is phenomenal
and you inspire me on that level but your person inspires
me more. I see God in you and I love that my daughter has
someone to look up to.” I was just like, “Thank
you.” What do you say to that? That is the best compliment
I could ever get.
Is it true
you and Justin Guarini are doing a movie?
Yes. It has
nothing to do with American Idol. It’s like we’re
two totally different actors doing this.
Do you
ever see yourself doing Broadway?
I better see
myself doing it because I love Broadway. Love it. I did Seven
Brides for Seven Brothers, Brigadoon, Annie Get Your Gun.
I love Annie Get Your Gun.
Did you
discuss that show with Reba who played the part on Broadway?
I don’t
even remember half the conversations we had. I was so starstruck
and I don’t get startstruck. Usually, I’m like.
‘You’re a person just like me so you just happen
to be good and one thing and it’s on TV.’ I was
completely floored that I met her and I don’t remember
half the stuff that we talked about.
Were you
nervous going into your first audition for American Idol?
Honestly,
none of us thought it was going to be this big. We just thought
that maybe we’d be on TV and somebody would be watching
and like our voice. We were doing it for exposure.
What’s
going to keep you grounded in this crazy business?
Friends, family
and God. I’ve got to center myself because I’ve
seen what this business can do to people. It’s not going
to happen to me.
Do you
have a motto or some words that you live by?
“God
doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle.”
I got that in church growing up. That’s how I don’t
stress out about things because I believe that.
Singing
so much must be hard on your voice. How are you coping with
that?
It’s
hard but it’s good training. I just got to learn to
shut my mouth. I’m such a talker and it sucks. I will
talk for days.
Did it
bother you that the judges and the show didn’t really
pay you much attention in the first episodes?
To be honest,
I know why. Tamyra and Justin, those were the two they really
stuck with, and like Christina and RJ. Those are like pretty,
pretty girls and hot guys who can also wail. I don’t
have low self-esteem at all. I think I’m very cute but
I do have that kind of next-door neighbor thing so I knew
that I had to work extra hard vocally and more hard as in
showing my personality because I think I’m just as cute
as the next girl but I don’t think I’m hot by
any means. Not everybody has to be hot. I think that’s
a relief actually.
Was there
a moment when you though, ‘Now, they’ve noticed?’
It was when
I sung “Natural Woman.” I didn’t really
want to do the high note at the end to be honest because I
didn’t want people to be like, ‘Oh she’s
trying to be Mariah Carey,’ but I just wanted to show
my range and show everything I had in myself and so I just
let ‘em have it. After I sang “Respect”
on the first show, Simon’s like, “Oh, I don’t
remember you.” That’s the worst thing you could
possibly say to a performer. I would have rather him been
like, “You suck,” because I would rather you remember
me being bad that not remember me at all. After that moment,
my thinking was like, ‘Apparently I’m never going
to please you, so I’m going to please the audience,’
and that’s when I won the audience over. My friends
and family were like, ‘After “Respect,”
people really loved you. “Well, good, I’m glad
somebody remembers me.”
Your “Natural
Woman” outfit rocked too.
I picked it
out myself. I did everything myself, I was so excited. You
probably figure everybody was like real picky about what we
wore on each show. We literally had no time. Like that was
the only show where I had more than an hour to decide what
I was going to wear.
And if
you pick the wrong outfit, it’ll haunt you for weeks
in Us Weekly.
It’s
not going to haunt me. It can haunt the viewers because I
don’t care. I had like an hour to decide on something
so you can kiss my boot-ay.
What’s
your favorite thing about all of this?
I’ve
had like literally 50 jobs and just to come home, or come
to the bus, and know that I have a job I enjoy, that means
the world to me.
I think
you should name your album Cool Beans.
Dude, I had
no idea I said it so much. I’ve been saying it forever,
since I was a little kid. Everybody was like, What does that
mean? I was like, “What do you mean? Everybody says
that.”
What’s
the biggest risk you ever taken?
I don’t
think anything is a risk for me because I don’t think
I should limit myself on anything. I think it’s sad
when artists have to limit themselves to only certain things
they can do. That’s why I’m glad that I came out
on the show because I did everything from big band to Aretha,
a little bit of country. I did everything so that way people
can’t say, “We never saw you do that before.”
Do you
get a lot of free stuff now that you’re famous?
I get free
make-up, hair stuff, clothes. It’s insane. What I think
is funny about is when I was broke and I needed all this stuff,
I didn’t get any of it and now that I actually have
money, people give it to me for free. I just think that’s
kind of backwards.
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